Thursday, August 2, 2012
A strict schedule is followed....
Breakfast, lunch and dinner happen at the same time each day, without fail.
There are group therapy sessions. Each patient has a specific room to go to and be accounted for.
Medications are distributed at the same times; long lines begin forming a half hour ahead of schedule.
The outside world remains distant and free.
While under the care of doctors and nurses and such, there is no outside world. There are less cares and less worries.
As I said, it's strangely comforting.
Once released, you're sprung back to life as you once knew it. Everyday life unravels at top notch speed, often times triggering anxiety. You fight against it with all your might. It's time, once again, to fit in. To be normal. To do what's expected.
I've been hospitalized. More than once.
It was all so simple in a complex setting.
This is all so tiresome.
It is rewarding on many levels.
It is challenging on the daily.
Small pleasures pop in now and again.
I'm tired. Just so very tired. Balancing this and tending to that. Tired.
I need a break. A break shouldn't consist of being hospitalized.
Running away is tempting, but life goes on.
And I don't want to miss out on it.