Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Mental illness is nothing to fuck around with.
This stigma it holds onto so tightly needs to have some room to breathe. It hovers because of idiots who speak before they understand. Listen and learn and you will change your mind. No "maybe" about it.
The whole "think before you speak" thing goes for the general population. However, when you are saying something potentially hurtful toward a person who has a mental illness? It can seriously damage them for life. True story.
I know people with mental illness, myself included, who choose to isolate themselves from others to sort of deter from the fact that we are ill (some days we're more ill than others, some days we're given a break-but the illness is just resting-). Most of us try to avoid instances where it's suggested we are making everything "all about us". It's the exact opposite, really.
We want to be camouflaged...to be lost in the crowd...to blend...to merely be "normal".
How are you? This question is posed quite often simply because it's what we say as humans. When asked, do you really want the true answer? No, you don't. It's okay to admit it. Go for the short answer and get to the root of why you're speaking to this person to begin with. That's why most of the time, the reply is okay or fine. Even though the reality is the complete opposite, we go with the flow to avoid reality because it really is for the best. It's for your protection (you're welcome).
I've been accused of making everything all about me. I apparently, make it so others have to side step me whenever we come in contact with one another. I make YOU uncomfortable. How fucking ironic. I laugh at the thought.
Words hurt. Words sting. Words simmer in the brain, sometimes forever, and can never be forgiven. Even when you're being kind and considerate after the fact, those nasty words are right there, shouting at me from inside to hate you into oblivion. To remind.
You don't want to really know how I am, so why ask? It's pointless. Just go about your perfect life on this perfect day in this imperfect world.
I'm open about who I am here because it helps me. Sometimes it helps you too.
I'm mentally fucking ill. I didn't choose this. I wasn't always this way. But you know what? Fuck YOU for giving up on ME. Fuck YOU for thinking I gave up on you, because I didn't. I was merely sheltering you from the wicked storm that passes through these here parts on the daily.