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Today my nerves are at their edge, waiting to jump.

My sample pack of Seroquel ran out last night.

I left a message like I'm supposed to with my doctor explaining that I'm not feeling any side effects (besides being tired).

Mondays are the worst when trying to get any feedback from my doctor's office. Everyone and their sister needs to talk to him. I knew this was going to happen and so now my anxiety will be elevated until I get a call back.

I explained that I think 50mg is too little and I'm more than happy to go to 150mg.

Of course everything I said was on a recording and the nurses who take the messages tend to write down what they think they hear versus what is actually said. I deliberately didn't leave the information regarding what pharmacy I use on purpose so they are forced into calling me back. That way I can make sure this is handled correctly.

Being experienced when it comes to swallowing pills, I know it could take up to six weeks for anything to happen. Usually I know within the first week if I'll get to week six because of unbearable side effects. What I'm experiencing isn't unbearable, yet.

Now I wait and every time my phone rings and it isn't my doctor's office, my nerves take another step toward the edge.

****UPDATE:

My doctor is on vacation until Friday. Nice. The back up doctor (who I don't like) bumped my dose to 100mg. That's cool.

Then I get a call from the nurse, "The XR isn't available in generic form."

Of course it's not.

She's leaving enough samples for me to get through twelve days. You know, to see how it goes.

What's the fucking point? I can't afford this medication in its non-generic form.

Assholes.