I was in and out of sleep all night. It's not what you think. This wasn't a case of the "I can't sleeps". No. It was my dreams keeping me from slumber.
Here's the thing. I have a crush on Michael Myers. Yes, blue jumpsuit...white mask...butcher knife...traps young women in closets...doesn't talk (probably my favorite part).
Where am I going with this? I was dreaming about Jason Voorhees (think hockey mask minus the NHL) last night!
GASP! It was as if I was cheating on my beloved.
One minute my eyes were closed and I was running from Jason and next it was like some sexual fantasy. Like...it was foreplay.
I kept waking myself from this nonsense. I lay in bed all shaken up trying to get the visions to leave...I even splashed cold water on my face but every time I closed my eyes, that damn beat the fuck up hockey mask returned. And seriously? Jason? He's coated in mud half the time and I'm a clean freak!
|Isn't he a vision?|
And? I have this overwhelming urge to watch Friday the 13th: Jason Takes Manhattan. Nobody ever wants to watch that mess of a film. Hell, I wouldn't even call it a film. It's more of a fairy tale gone awry.
Quick! Someone tell me where to purchase a pumpkin this time of year. I need to carve the shit out of one stat. It's the only solution I can think of to swindle Mr. Blue Jumpsuit back into my arms.
I wonder if Michael will ever forgive me?