Wednesday, February 8, 2012
ECT. Electroconvulsive Therapy. Electroshock Therapy. Shock Therapy.
It doesn't matter what you call it, it's still the same thing.
An electric current is sent to the brain causing a grand-mal seizure for about 20 seconds.
It's used to treat various illnesses: Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Eating Disorders....
How does it work? Why does it work? Doctors aren't sure. But doctors also prescribe patients with anti-seizure medication and call them "mood stabilizers" as well. Because they work.
ECT can work.
And so I'm considering it.
I'm at the end of feeling like this and need something drastic.
Dr. M in an hour and a half. He'll sit there and smile and me and tell me to "Have hope..." He'll ask me why I stopped taking the Trileptal. "Because it was making my suicidal thoughts more vivid. More real. More in the planning stages. You dumbass, didn't you get my message yesterday?"
Oh yes. Dr. M will get a dose of Pam at her absolute worst today.
I'm done playing wiffle ball. It's time for a real bat.