Thursday, March 31, 2011

Who Doesn't Love Pie? A Recipe!

Don't you just love pie? I have so many favorites because basically, I have yet to taste a pie I hate.

You know what? I make a killer no-bake Key Lime Pie y'all. It's the best compliment after gorging yourself at a barbecue in the middle of Summer. I've had my fair share of really bad Key Lime Pie. Some are too tart, or the lime tastes rancid, it's always something. My recipe? Perfect every time.

I recently shared my recipe on Twitter and it made me drool so I figured it would only be right to share it with all of you.

No-Bake Key Lime Pie

Le Crust

1 1/2 C Nilla Wafer Cookies (roughly ground up, some chunks are good)

1/4 Teaspoon Cinnamon

1/4 Teaspoon Nutmeg (freshly ground makes this even better)

6 Tablespoons Melted Unsalted Butter

Mix the above dry ingredients together then add the butter. Press the crust mixture into a greased pie dish evenly. Bake in preheated oven at 325 for ten minutes. Allow to cool completely.

Le Filling

8 OZ Cream Cheese (at room temperature, Philadelphia is best! )

1/3 C Granulated Sugar

1 Teaspoon Lime Zest

1/3 C Fresh Lime Juice (zest the lime first, then use its juice)

8 OZ Cool Whip (defrosted)

Combine all above ingredients in a blender or mixer except for the Cool Whip. Pour mixture into a bowl and fold in the Cool Whip. Add to crust and refrigerate until set, at least four hours, overnight if you can stand to wait that long!

When you taste this pie you're going to be stumbling over your own fork to get another bite into your mouth before your tongue laps it up all on its own. Yes, it's that good.


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Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Family Size: Large or Small

I met Gail from Home is Where the Dog is when I first started blogging. She's a wife, mother to two girls, a dog and a cat. I love diving into her posts where she describes her family going to her lake house every weekend while trying to keep her everyday home in working order. Sometimes you'll see a post with a picture of her husband lying on the floor watching TV. In the bathroom. She makes me laugh, crave a daughter and really think. This is one of those posts that will make you think and wonder.

***

I come from a big family. My mom was one of seven and I am the youngest of four girls. My sister started having kids when I was eleven. Our house has always been a scene of chaos and activity, and I just assumed that is how life was supposed to be.

I always wanted a big family…when I was little; I dreamed of having seven kids, just like my grandmother and aunt. Since then I’ve whittled it down to three or four, five if I am feeling crazy. (What can I say; Brothers & Sisters was once one of my favorite shows!) And then I read this article in Time Magazine, and I started to feel guilty. (go ahead and read it…I’ll wait) Or, if you don’t have the time, I’ll summarize:

Throughout history, only children, otherwise known as “singletons” were viewed as weird, socially awkward, and generally lacking in some way. Poor singletons were at a disadvantage since they had no siblings to fight with, be forced to share their toys with, and had to bear the burden of their elderly parents on their own. There was even a “study” done to prove this.

However, many studies since have shown just the opposite. Singletons are no more likely to be “weird” than their peers who have siblings. In fact, they are more likely to succeed and have high self-esteem…getting college degrees and going on to be doctors, lawyers, or some other profession that requires extra effort. The fact is the parents have more time, energy, and resources to devote to an only child. And quite often, the results are favorable. (Not always, of course. There are screwed-up only kids out there too. Did anyone watch NCIS last week? Because that is totally real.)


Reading the article made me think. I've always wanted a large family because I felt my kids deserved the best, and to me, the best is being surrounded by family. But what if I’ve been wrong all these years? What if you can socialize with your child without having other children? What if you set yourself up financially so you aren’t a “burden” to them in your later years; but at the same time you can give them everything they want or need without spoiling them? Things such as paying for college, a car, ballet classes, sports...without bankrupting yourself in the process?

Imagine knowing that you only have to go through the hard times once: One time with a newborn not sleeping, one time through the terrible twos, one time with a teenager. Would you be able to enjoy it that much more? And while you are busy enjoying your child, you are also enjoying your own life? You have the time and energy to have sex, go out to dinner, sleep!

I never once in my life thought of these things. My father-in-law asked me while I was in the hospital having my older daughter when I was going to do it again. And I did…19 months later. It is now too late to consider having one child, and I wouldn’t trade either of my kids for anything in the world; but it isn’t too late for me to have “mommy guilt” about having to split my time, money, and energy between the two. (Not to mention the dog, cat, husband, and soon-to-be puppy.) The Time article makes me wonder if I did right by my oldest daughter by having another child, or was I being selfish by not thinking things through? Having an only child is never something I imagined would be a story line in my life.

I have additional guilt for having two children. When my older daughter, Sam, was born she was the first grandchild on my husband’s side. We spend a lot of time with them and their friends, and she became the Golden Child. Everyone loves her. I have actually been told when she is doing something wrong, “I know you should discipline her, but she is just so cute!” She hangs out with her Oma a lot and that freed me up to, you know, have “me time.” Then came my younger daughter, Charlie.

Charlie is an adorable little girl…happy and just as beautiful as her sister. I notice that while Sam is still the Golden Child, Charlie is sort of…an afterthought. She never gets to go shopping with Oma, or get one-on-one time with, well…anyone but me. That's because Sam is off playing with her admirers, while Charlie and me hang out. I’m not going to lie, this has been good for us both, but I question how long this will go on. Will she notice that Sam gets a lot of attention? Will it change as she gets older and has the ability to talk and walk and basically out charm her sister? Is this how sibling rivalry begins?

One thing is for sure. Every family is different and every family should do what is right for them. For me, that might be having four kids just like my sisters or maybe it’ll be three kids and a dog. I guess we’ll know when we know. That probably won’t help stop the never-ending mommy guilt, no matter what the research says.


***

I love my family size. Heck, I wouldn't mind adding in one more child even.

Gail makes a good argument from every angle, don't you think?

Thanks for guest posting girl! Come back, anytime!

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Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Tweet-Slapped


This tweet? Was all in good fun. It did happen but those of you who know me, know I can be a bit colorful most of the time. Because of this tweet? I was totally accused of child abuse y'all.

Really.

Also? I was sent a song to listen to about domestic abuse.

Really.

The fuck?

It was my first tweet-slap!

...and most definitely not my last...

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Monday, March 28, 2011

The Easy Slut - - Lady Estrogen Stops By

Do you ever come across a blogger who you can't believe you didn't find sooner but can't quite remember how you "met" in the first place? Meet Lady Estrogen, or as she likes to be referred, Cunt Dragon {it totally suits her}.

Adventures in Estrogen


Hawt, right? Luuuurve!

Her blog is juicy and I am officially a stalker, in a non-creepy sense. You're not going to stop by Adventure's in Estrogen to read about motherhood in any way. Over there? It's sex, music, bitching, erotic stories... all done in her own colorful way.

Here's her post...

The Easy Slut.

I was asked by one of my newest bestie bitches at 2 Much Testosterone to write a guest post, and how could I refuse her, seriously? I am powerless under her seductively bad influences. The one thing I struggle with is that since my blog is mostly about my past misadventures, my supply is not entirely limitless. I hoard my stories and no one can have them, so fuck off, don’t ask! BUT, and it’s a big butt (truly, it is huge) I have zero qualms writing posts that contain current situations at the expense of my husband and/or children for other people – as I do not include them on my own blog. After thinking long and hard about what hilarious hijinx I could offer up to my fellow hormonal home girl, I had this conversation with hubby the other day. The little mental note-taker troll that lives in the back of my brain thought, “BINGO”; this was it:

Husband: I’m not good looking.

Lady Estrogen: Yes, you are.

H: No, I’m not. If I was, I would have gotten more play in high school.

LE: No way; it has little to do with that. Some of the coolest guys in my high school were far from the typical "hot"; it’s all about attitude... even I am a prime example of that.

H: Ya right. You got a lot of play because you were an easy slut.

LE: (Heavy sarcasm) Right-o! As opposed to a hard-to-get slut?

H: Ugh! Shut up.

And then I lifted my top and bra over my head and stuck my boobs in his face, giving him some smothering motorboat action.

Marriage is fun.

*

She's a fucking rock star.



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Sunday, March 27, 2011

A Moving Quotation - - Bloggy Moms Writer's Workshop #1

“It all works out in the end. If it hasn't worked out yet, then it's not the end.”

- - Max Lucado

This quote caught my eye on Twitter. I immediately wrote it on a post-it and later transferred it to my handwritten journal. It speaks to me.

I'm a firm believer that if something didn't quite happen the way you imagined it would, it wasn't meant to be. I also believe that our lives have a way of working out the hard stuff. It may not feel like it when you're digging in the trenches but once the hole is dug and your blisters are cracking and bleeding, you can proudly move forward.

I've been fighting postpartum depression for two years. I've experienced sinister days where I couldn't recognize myself. I would stare in the mirror and wonder whose reflection was glaring back. I've also had some days where I forgot I was sick in the first place.

Over the past six months I've reached a manageable state. I know there will be bumps along the way and I'm prepared for the detours.

I was handed this illness as a way to reach out and help others through their own turmoil. I continue to battle postpartum depression and have not reached the end. Maybe I'm not meant to find the way out of the maze just yet, and for now? I'm okay with that.

This post was written in participation with the Bloggy Moms Writer's Workshop prompt: Write about a quotation that moves you.

Tweet your post using the hashtag: #BloggyMomsWrite





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Friday, March 25, 2011

Guest Posting at Dysfunctional Supermom

Happy Friday!!

I'm guest posting today over at Brandi's place Dysfunctional Supermom. The post is titled "Ethel & Lucy in the Making?"

Go show me some love over there and read some of Brandi's back blogs. She's a funny bitch. And now? She's so my funny bitch.

You're welcome!


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Wednesday, March 23, 2011

One Born Every Minute

A few weeks ago I was watching One Born Every Minute. Little did I know that by watching this episode, rather than crying my eyes out I was laughing my ass off. If I could figure out a way to edit this episode to include only this family I would, because this shit is that funny. I saved the episode and made my husband watch it. He was also laughing hysterically. Muwah!





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Le Haircut

Before:



After:




Love!

Do you love writing prompts? Come visit the Bloggy Moms Writer's Workshop where my very first prompt was announced today! The link up takes place on Monday , March 28th. Go!

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Monday, March 21, 2011

My Greatest Loss

I was seventeen years old on Christmas of 1994. My son was just two months of age. The two of us made the long drive to my brother's house to be with my father and three of my sisters to celebrate. We ate dinner, exchanged gifts and a good handful of stories that made us laugh year after year, gathering after gathering.

I recall that my father was running a fever. Not feeling well, he said his goodbyes and headed home. A few days later, he was hospitalized with pneumonia. It wasn't looking so good.

At the time, I was working the closing shift at Burger King and often didn't make it home until 2am or later. After finding out about my dad, I bundled up my son to face the cold and drove in the snow to the hospital. We arrived at the hospital where my brother and sisters were camped out. He was in the intensive care unit.

Only two to three people were allowed to see my father at a time and my son couldn't come in at all. My father's hands were restrained to the bed because he wanted to go home. If he had his way, he would have yanked out the tubes and IV, lit up a cigarette, and strutted right out of that hospital. He never made it out.

I only made the effort to visit him that one time.

My parents were at the tail end of a divorce when he passed, living in separate houses. I lived with my mother about thirty miles away. My brother and sisters were angry with me. Hurt that I hadn't gone back to visit. I was seventeen years old, a new mother, and was responsible enough to hold down a job to provide for my son. Looking back, would I have made more of an effort? Of course, but I will never be given that opportunity and I try not to dwell on it.

During the one time I did visit two things stand out to me. One of my sisters forced our brother to cover up my father with a blanket before we went into the room and my dad repeatedly motioning to us with, "Help me!". He couldn't physically speak.

Sixteen years have passed. Sixteen years, and my oldest brother and sister still won't speak to me. I've made several attempts at contacting them to no avail. My relationship has since been mended with my other sisters (I'm the baby) and their attempts at reconciliation on my behalf have also failed.

I often wonder if I want people who hold this much of a grudge against me in my life anyway? The answer is yes. Yes, I do. And I'll never give up hope that some day, they'll forgive me.

This post was written in participation with The Red Dress Club's writing prompt: Forgiveness. Forgiving others, forgiving yourself. Write about a time of forgiveness.



Won't you join me at the Bloggy Moms Writer's Workshop? The first prompt will be announced tomorrow!


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Friday, March 18, 2011

Detour to Oz

The windshield wipers were having trouble keeping up with the rain, which spilled down in sheets. Gabby didn’t want to take her eyes off the road but snuck glances at the digital clock on the dash. Her anger escalated. There was no way she was going to make it; the storm halted her shot at making it to the job interview. She was already an hour late and there was no phone service.

“Damn it! This shit always happens to me,” she yelled. She pulled the car over to collect her thoughts. Gabby decided to keep going hoping to pass a coffee shop with WiFi and some decent phone service.

The wipers kept catching on something on the driver’s side causing them to pause. Gabby’s focus was on the outside of the window trying to pinpoint the problem. I don’t need this right now. I’m in the middle of nowhere. She thought.

Her eyes darted back to the deteriorating blade on the window when her car slammed into a detour sign. She slammed on her breaks causing the car to spin until it finally came to a complete stop.

“Fuck!” Her anxiety was mounting. Once her breathing was under control Gabby continued toward the detour route.

She must have driven about fifty miles without realizing; she was too focused on the wipers. That’s when the blades stuck for the last time.

The rain hadn’t let up at all and Gabby was instantly blinded. She carefully guided the car off the road and turned it off. She searched everywhere for an umbrella she knew didn’t exist.

Gabby wiped the driver’s side window with her palm trying to figure out her next step. She couldn’t see very well but she could make out the form of a red mailbox through the rainfall. She stripped off the button down cashmere sweater she wore and placed it over head. Grabbing for the handle, she forced the door open and the heavy rain instantly soaked her beloved sweater right through. Naturally, she thought.

With one stiletto healed foot on the ground, Gabby shimmied her pencil skirt clad body into the storm, heading toward the red mailbox.

The cottage before her replicated an adult sized gingerbread house direct from a fairy tale. She ran for the shelter hanging over the front door and knocked. The door opened and a woman with a beaming smile urged her inside.

“Thank you so much. My car…the windshield wipers…the rain…” she couldn’t complete her sentence. Gabby was too busy taking in the scene before her. Under her breath she spoke, “Right out Wizard of fuckin’ Oz…”

The woman, wearing a fluffy pink dress and sparkling tiara said, “Yes, my home has that effect on people.” Her voice was gentle and kind, like that of a little old woman.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Gabby replied. She hadn’t meant to say it out loud.

The two stood in the foyer of the cottage. The walls replicated Munchkin Land. Gabby’s stare went to her feet where a puddle was forming right on the yellow brick road flooring. This is typical horror movie shit right here, she thought.

“I’m Gabby. The windshield wipers on my car are stuck. Would you mind if I waited here until the rain lets up?”

“Of course Dear. I’m Glenda. There are fresh towels in the powder room right over there. I’ll go make us some tea,” the woman said.

Gabby reluctantly followed the yellow brick road toward the bathroom. I should really leave. This woman is sick in the head. She opened the door and turned on the light. Gabby was instantly blinded with glittering wall to wall shelving of ruby red slippers. She closed and locked the door behind her. “I’ll dry myself off, excuse myself and get my ass back to the car. I’ll push it a few miles up the road if I have to,” she whispered to her image in the mirror. Her anxiety was peaking again.

When Gabby finished drying off she made a break for the front door, but she was cut off. “In here Dear. Come have a cup of hot tea,” the woman called out. One cup. One cup and I’m out of here. Gabby walked past munchkin figures made from wax; each held a lollipop in their grasp.

The theme continued into the sitting area where Glenda sat waiting. She sat beside her. On the couch opposite of them sat the figures of the Tin Man, Scarecrow and Lion, each with their own tea cups before them. She took a sip of tea without noticing that Glenda served it up in the most exquisite play tea set she had ever seen. She downed the tea like it was a shot of whiskey and urgently attempted to excuse herself.

She peered out the window, “It looks like the rain is letting up. Thank you so much for the towel and the tea but I have an interview to get to,” Gabby spoke.

“Don’t be silly Dear, the rain is falling just as hard as before,” Glenda replied.

Again, Gabby began to walk toward the front door but her legs buckled and she felt woozy. She collapsed to the ground and blacked out.

Several hours later Gabby’s eyes fluttered open.

“Hello Dear, are you feeling better?” Glenda asked.

Gabby tried to speak but she couldn’t. She was pinned to the floor by something heavy. She began to panic. A large plastic playhouse lay over her body, the heaviness boring into her chest. There was a small gap between her and the house and Gabby stole a glance at black and white stripes surrounding her legs. While she couldn’t see far, she felt different shoes on her feet. Gabby was paralyzed. She could only move her head slightly and dart her eyes around the room.

“How dare you rob me of my ruby red slippers witch! I want them back,” Glenda hollered as she waved a long silver wand with a glittered star tip. Gabby’s eyes welled with tears when she noticed beyond the tip of the wand was a knife.

A barefooted Glenda grasped the homemade wand in both hands and stood at Gabby’s head. Gabby looked from side to side. She wanted to scream back at Glenda to just take the damn shoes back but she knew there was a plan in place. She was part of this insane woman’s zany skit.

Gabby brought her head to center, tears spilling from both eyes. Glenda raised the wand above her head, the knife pointing down. She plunged it into Gabby’s chest repeatedly, blood spattering from her open wounds.

With the taste of copper flooding her taste buds, Gabby let out one final breath and closed her eyes.

Glenda rushed to the ruby red slippers and tore them from Gabby’s lifeless body.

“Thank you Dear,” she whispered.

Glenda returned the shoes to the shelf in her powder room.

This fictional story was written in participation with The Red Dress Club's writing prompt: write a piece in which you or your character takes a detour. Word limit 600, which I totally exceeded.



Won't you join me at the Bloggy Moms Writer's Workshop? The prompt will be announced on Wednesdays for publishing on Mondays.

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Thursday, March 17, 2011

Bloggy Moms Writer's Workshop- - LAUNCHED!

I announced yesterday that I am taking over the Bloggy Moms 'Writer's Workshop' group.

Please take a moment to visit. For the next couple of days, I am hosting a sort of "Meet & Greet". There's a linky to post your blog's main page URL, see below. This is a great way to meet fellow members of the Writer's Workshop.

Next Wednesday, I will announce the first writing prompt. Your post should be written and published on your blog by the following Monday. Then you'll visit the Writer's Workshop group and link up.

I'll be using the Twitter hashtag #BloggyMomsWrite.

Comment, Comment, Comment! EZPZ!

Go now!




get the InLinkz code


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Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Updates Updates All Around!

It appears that I've taken a bite of the blahs and it has left a bad taste of writers block in my mouth. I hate it when that happens. So I wanted to take the opportunity to update y'all on a few things.

First, a new project! Do you have a free account with Bloggy Moms? You should. It's a wonderful community growing by leaps and bounds. I'm proud to be a member. There are endless ways to promote your blog, meet new bloggy friends and get involved with groups. There's a Writer's Workshop group that's kind of been placed on the back burner and Tiffany Noth, the creator of Bloggy Moms, is allowing me to take over. I'm super excited!

So as not to conflict with two other writing workshops I adore (The Red Dress Club & Mama Kat) I've decided to announce our prompt on Wednesdays to be published on Mondays.

This is just a test drive so we'll see where it goes. Suggestions are welcome!

I hope to make this group and active one with tips and tricks to a better blog and getting people to dip their feet into the deep end with prompts they may not be used to. To challenge you.

Stay tuned...More to come as things develop!

Where  Moms Who Blog Go!

Second, the postpartum depression. I'm happy to report that round two of PPD is losing the battle against me, the PPD ass kickah extraordinaire. Take that!

Things are good. Really good. For a while there, I was feeling so flat-lifeless-blank and it was no fun at all. Of course it was better than feeling the way I was several months ago. I just didn't think I'd ever get over that bump onto smoother pavement, but I did and here I am.

About two months ago, I began swallowing a total of seven pills every day to begin the journey of healing. It has been a long two months. What set it off were very dark thoughts after taking away one antidepressant, adding in a new one and adding a booster on top of it all. I'm glad I didn't give into the thoughts because it was the depression whispering in my ear, nothing more.

When you're stuck in those moments it's difficult to see past what is happening in the now. Occasionally a change of scenery is necessary, sometimes Xanax (for me), and/or jumping on Twitter and shouting out to all the fighters (#PPD, #PPDChat) is what pulls me out of my funk. Other times just mere breathing is the magic sauce. Don't ever underestimate great breathing.

This time I'm fully prepared for potholes. There will be bad days. I have my hope back and nobody is going to take it away from me ever again. Nobody.

And lastly, I'm still running. I began the Couch to 5K program some time ago and what a tremendous program it is. Even on the darkest day, I turned to running because there was immediate satisfaction as I jumped to the next week in line. Then I got stuck. So I avoided running for a bit, only heading out with my shoes once a week if at all. I've got to train my brain that it's okay if I can only run steadily for ten minutes today, fifteen tomorrow, and 8 the next. We can't always possess super powers in what we feel we are good at. It's hard but I'm learning to appreciate that each day is different but also, special.

This new medication combination makes it really difficult to lose weight, in fact gaining is probably what's really going on. I gave into that too with binge eating on some days. That made me feel like shit.

I've got to accept who I am right now. Maybe that means wearing a larger size for a while. Oh well. I love me and I can change my appearance later. Right now, I'm more concerned about my mental well being.

That's it in a nutshell.


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Silence Isn't Always Golden

I absolutely adore the fact that my husband and I have the ability to sit in complete silence and just enjoy each others company. It's not necessary to be chattering all the time. When you're with the right person, being able to sit quietly is a gift.

But....

Have you ever been out to dinner and you and your other half (notice how I didn't say better, heh) are talking about the kids (because really, when the kids aren't with you, you must talk about them) and sipping on an adult beverage and then you glance at the table next to yours and the older couple is eating but they're not talking and they look really uncomfortable? I never want to be that couple. Ever. Usually the man is staring into space and the woman is silently judging the server's appearance.

This isn't the gift I speak of. I understand the whole enjoying of each others company quietly at home or maybe even in the car on a long drive (that doesn't fly for a less than 10 mile trip). But if the effort is made to get out of the house for a bite to eat, at least talk about the weather. Make small talk. Just speak!

I have worked with someone who felt the need to constantly talk, even if the topic made me uncomfortable. This same woman is part of the couple who sits at the restaurant silently judging people and staring off into the unknown. He would call the office and sometimes I'd answer and he'd think I was her. Instead of saying, "Hello" he would blurt out and aggravated, "Yeah?" and I'd be all, "Hello?" pretending that I didn't hear him so he'd actually ask for his wife. That really bothered me. At least fake that you like one another.

I understand growing old with someone. I like enjoying my husband's company without feeling like we always have to speak. But please oh please, bury me six feet under if we ever become that couple who can't even pretend to like each other.


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Monday, March 14, 2011

Keepith The Doctor Away

A heaping handful of versatility....

Available with each changing season...

Delicious eaten right off the tree from which it ripens...

Equally as yummy when heated and mashed into a sauce topped with cinnamon and nutmeg...

The smell it permeates when baked into a pie and topped with a dollop of whipped cream...

Sweet and tart...

Reds-Greens-Yellows...

The perfect compliment to a spoonful of peanut butter or a wedge of cheddar cheese...

The apple.


A reminder of the arrival of Fall and the holiday season. Baking season.

Apple picking in New Jersey with my sister was a tradition. We pulled my son in a wagon and had our way with the trees. Rows and rows of trees. The sweet aroma hovering in the air. Mountains of apples.

The apple.


A symbol of crisp afternoons and sunsets of brilliant rays crackling through leaves of change.

This post was written in participation with The Red Dress Club's writing prompt: Write about a favorite fresh fruit or vegetable.




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Eden Fantasys Giveaway Winner

Sex toys - EdenFantasys adult toys store

And the winner of this lovely Eden Fantasys iVibe Pocket Rocket is Tiffany of Dreams Do Come True!!

Congratulations Tiffany! I will send you an email shortly to grab all your information. You'll have your new toy in days because that's how Eden Fantasys rolls....

Sex toys - EdenFantasys adult toys store

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Thursday, March 10, 2011

That's a Beautiful Thing

Postpartum depression {PPD} is....

...anger
...irritation
...being overwhelmed
...feeling hopeless or helpless
...guilt
...shame
...emotional outbursts
...loss of concentration and focus
...insomnia
...exhaustion
...intrusive thoughts
...lack of interest in the new baby or something you used to love
...only wanting to be with your baby
...feeling lost
...anxiety
...obsessive thinking
...and sometimes psychosis

PPD uses trickery. Sometimes you feel better. Then? It grips you harder than before and you're right back where you started, sometimes even further gone. Relapse. That's my story.

But...without having had PPD to begin with? I never would have met the community of women I call my friends today. The gorgeous women behind the mask of this treacherousness are strong. They are survivors. We. We are survivors. That's a beautiful thing.

No matter the time of day. No matter how far gone you feel. No matter how awful you feel the thought in your mind is. No matter. The survivors of PPD are there. Available. Always. That's a beautiful thing.

PPD looks like a stormy gray day. PPD looks like the sun peaking through thick, black clouds after a tornado. PPD is treatable. That's a beautiful thing.

PPD carries a stigma as most mental illnesses do. The stigma is a lie. You're not a bad mother for taking medication. You're not a bad mother for needing a time out. You're not a bad mother for seeing a psychiatrist or a therapist. That's a beautiful thing.

PPD is a bitch but you can beat it. You will beat it. That's a beautiful thing.

This post was written in participation with The Red Dress Club's writing prompt: Write a short piece about something ugly - and find the beauty in it.



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Eden Fantasys Is For You Even If You're The Shy Type

Eden Cafe

I first heard about Eden Fantasys on Twitter. You know when you see a car on the road you've never seen before and then suddenly everyone is driving one? That's Eden Fantasys, and for good reason!

The process of buying items from Eden is so simple. They have categories listed for every item you can possibly imagine. Front and center of the site lists the newest toys, their best sellers, clearance and promotional items, and so much more.

Are you worried about purchasing toys from an online sex shop? Eden takes the worry out of the equation and they're very discreet!

When you click on an item a picture and full description pops up and spelled out for you is the intensity level, popularity, noise level, customer reviews, whether the item is water proof or not, and you can even view its actual size!

When Eden charges you for your purchase your bank account won't be plastered in red that "This chick just bought the G-Ki - G-spot and Clitoral Vibrator"!! (which happens to be in the top ten of popularity, just sayin') The charge comes from "EF" and a series of numbers. The same holds true for the packaging when your items arrive (by the way, they ship as fast as you blink!).

Do you want to hear about a personal experience someone has with a specific toy? The Sex Forum is your new friend!

Want to read posts from people just like you on a variety of topics from sexuality to body image to marriage? Visit the Eden Cafe!

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SexIs is an online magazine (now available in print as well) about sex and all things sexual.

Sexis - a provocative sex magazine at EdenFantasys.com

Skip going to your local sexy store and shop with Eden Fantasys. You'll thank me later...

Sex toys - EdenFantasys adult toys store

Fine Print: In exchange for publishing this post I received a $25 gift certificate to shop with Eden Fantasys. All opinions expressed here are mine and mine alone.



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F.E.A.R.

F. E. A. R.

F alse

E vidence

A ppearing

R eal

This acronym was brought to my attention this week at Postpartum Progress.

When I read it for the first time, something clicked.

I've heard other women give the advice of yelling STOP or talking themselves down when stuck in an anxiety attack or intrusive thought. Until I saw this acronym I didn't think I would ever be able to handle bringing myself back to the light without Xanax.

Now when I'm locked inside my dark closet without a key, I visualize the above and I come down slowly. What an accomplishment!

I wanted to share it with all of you for when you're stuck in your dark place.


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Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Wordless {Wordful} Wednesday - - The View From My Car

I took this photo at a stop light this morning, the quality is shit, I know. Do you see what that man has strapped to the back of his Harley? It's a fucking Dalmatian! It took me three times and lots of hard eye squinting until I realized it was a stuffed animal. Whaaaa?

Bike Week is in full swing down here in the heart of Daytona. This is the shade of loveliness I get to bestow my eyes upon.

Also? A few miles down the road there was a guy jogging. Cool right? The dude is getting his exercise on, good for him. Thing is? He was wearing too short shorts and? No shoes! Like, he was barefoot. On a major road. Jogging. Whaaaa?

Only in Daytona Beach y'all.

P.S. I have an Eden Fantasys giveaway going on now! A.K.A. Sex toy up for grabs. Don't be shy. You can enter anonymously and I won't blow your cover...

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Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Without Judgment

He weaved in and out of traffic as I breathed through the contractions, now coming every minute. We arrived at the emergency room entrance where a wheelchair sat vacant, waiting for my body with the swollen belly. The young boy wheeled me to my room upstairs while your father parked the car. Between screams of anguish, I was guided to the bed where your head impatiently waited behind the eight centimeter opening.

Ten centimeters arrived with the next contraction and the Attending had finally appeared. My doctor, the one who isn't hard to look at, was on vacation. Figures. With the next breath, I went numb and pushed with everything I had. I took a break but the nurses and your daddy continued to coach.

"Push! Push!" They shouted.

I yelled back, "Is his head out?"

"Yes, push!" They urged.

My third wind had come, this was the final push. I was about to meet you, my third son, for the first time. Did my hair look okay?

I pushed, gently but with determination. And there you were.

The kind nurses cleaned you up.

"I'm so sorry! I'm just so sorry!" I apologized.

"For what?" They questioned.

"For the screaming. I haven't stopped screaming since I got here. And for my breath. My damn onion breath! If I knew I was going to be having a baby today, I never would have ordered that cheeseburger with extra onions," I replied.

Then the background noise muted. The nurses continued to hustle and bustle about and your daddy snapped photo after photo, but that was no longer my concern. You were here and I was reaching out to hold you for the first time.

Ten years. That's how much time had passed since your big brother was born. We thought we were finished having kids.

You had a pissed off look on your face like we had disrupted the best sleep you've ever gotten to push you into a world full of lights and noise and cool air. No matter, you were in my arms and I could smell you. I could touch you. I could kiss on you. I would keep you as safe and warm on the outside as I did on the inside.

You were brought into this world under harsh circumstances. Mommy wasn't sure if you were truly ready to show your face, so we put off going to the hospital for as long as possible. I wonder what went through your tiny head as I hooted and hollered for you to come out of my body. The body we shared for nine months. Now it was calm and serene and for the next several months I would be with you every moment of every day in the most loving way you'll ever know.

It was such a pleasure to meet your acquaintance.

This post was published in participation with The Red Dress Club's writing prompt: When meeting someone for the first time, describe a scene from your life that would help show the person your true self.




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Sunday, March 6, 2011

Eden Fantasys Anyone? A Giveaway!

Fine Print: This post includes content of sexual nature. No nudity is involved within the post but links are throughout that do contain such subject matter. You've been warned!

Sex toys - EdenFantasys adult toys store

Eden Fantasys is known as the sex shop you can trust. They have just about everything you can think of to spice things up in the bedroom. Vibrators, lingerie, condoms, candles, games, erotic books, DVDs, lubricants...like I said, everything!

When I was contacted about hosting a giveaway I didn't have to think twice. After sorting through a bunch of different toys (you're not winning a candle in the house of sperm!), I decided on:


The iVibe Pocket Rocket

Eden Fantasys description: The sex revolution part II. 5 colors of wild vibrations. This 4" device is not made for insertion, but is made to stimulate the clitoris and vagina surface with powerful vibrating metal balls at the tip of the vibrator. 4" long, 1" wide.

The reviews for this product scream out WIN ME!

It's portable, bring it with you when you travel!

It's powerful and discreet!

It's strong, don't be alarmed by its appearance!


This giveaway will run through Sunday, March 13th at midnight Eastern time. The winner will be chosen via random.org and announced on Monday, March 14th!

Entering is easy. Please leave a separate comment for each entry in order to be counted:
  • Visit the Eden Fantasys website and leave a comment about an item you secretly want to own!
  • Follow Eden Fantasys on Twitter
  • Write a blog post about this giveaway and leave the link in a comment!
  • Tweet about this giveaway and leave the link in a comment!
  • Follow 2 Much Testosterone via Google Friend Connect
  • Follow 2 Much Testosterone on Twitter
Eden Cafe

More fine print: In exchange for hosting this giveaway, Eden Fantasys is providing me with a $25 gift certificate to their website.

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