Article first published as Feeding the Personality vs. Fighting It on Technorati.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
Me: Hi...My name is Pamela.
M.P.A. Group (Mother Pluckers Anonymous): Hi Pamela!
Me: I'm here because, well....I'm a Mother Plucker.
Heads nod, hands go over hearts, encouragements are shouted....
Me: Yes. I indeed am an eyebrow over-plucker. Over the years I've plucked and plucked and plucked. Now? They don't grow back and I have to live with this for the rest of my life. Constant penciling takes place. Some days they look great and I know my day is going to be fantastic. A bad eyebrow day wipes a bad hair day off the continent. Please, help me!
Why hasn't anyone patented Rogaine for eyebrows? I'd love to regrow my eyebrows to their fullest, bushy capacity and get a proper waxing. I'm exhausted from checking out other women's eyebrows on TV, movies, magazines, the line at the grocery store, the gas pump...
I envy beautifully crafted eyebrows. Eyebrows with the perfect arch and shade. It's kind of like those women that have the darkest eyelashes ever and don't even need make-up to look beautiful. Now, a woman with the perfect brows and lashes? I want to hurt her. Slasher film style.I want this brow!
Until then, I'll continue to pencil in my sparse brows and silently curse those of you who need not do this. I will pray each morning for a perfect eyebrow day, even if it means I have to sport a pony tail in exchange.
That is all...