Mad that this happened ag
ain...Mad that I have little to no motivation to do anything...
Mad that the one thing I can do to put a stop to it is out of my reach...
Mad that I don't even want people to really talk to me...
Mad that I can't just lie down somewhere and allow myself the freedom to work this out with as much time as it takes...
Mad that I'm not sleeping...
Mad that at first, my appetite was suppressed by the medication and now that's slowly letting up...
Mad that my body aches, my lower back hurts so much today I just want to scream...
Mad that one of the best things that ever happened to me (giving birth to my third son) ruined me from the inside out...
Mad that I just want to lock myself up in a dark room and yell, cry, shred pillows, anything to make the emotional stress and anxiety go away...
Mad that I feel paranoid all the time, people are looking at me, they see inside my head, they know my thoughts, they know the dark cloud has returned...
Now? I'm just mad.
So sad you have to go through this. I know others that have dealt with it and they say it is tough, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm praying for you.
ReplyDeleteStark-raving, nail-spitting mad. Have I been THERE!
ReplyDeleteYou are in my prayers... I am so sorry that you are going thru this again.. i am here if you need to talk Janna.hamill@cigna.com
ReplyDeleteWhat you are going through sucks a$$!!! I have been there also! Just keep remembering you are not alone!
ReplyDeleteI have never had PPD ( I think ) but why do I then have times that I feel like you? No motivation what so ever and just want to sleep all day! This is crap I tell ya...
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry honey. I've lived with depression and it's an evil, soul sucking mother fucker. My thoughts are with you. Get mad and let it out! Don't keep it in. It will pass. You know this. Let's hope it doesn't come back again though.
ReplyDeleteThis is soooo moving, Pam! *sigh* I just want to grab you and squeeze the stuffing out of you!
ReplyDelete