It's almost like I have muzzle on....

 You have spinach in your teeth!

Your zipper is down!

Have you looked in the mirror lately? You going for that wind blown look? Dude, Your hair is jacked the fuck up!!






Look, I am not a shy girl. I will tell you like it is. Sometimes this hurts feelings. I don't mean to come off that way. Chalk it up to being raised in New Jersey, whatever. I just don't hold back!

Thing is, there's this one person who I come in contact with every weekday. Every single morning, this person has lipstick on her teeth. Every. Single. Morning. This is one thing I cannot bring myself to address. She's always smiling too. Her teeth are the shade of Cover Girl's "Bistro Burgundy".

I can't even look at her head on. Want to know why? Lipstick on the teeth is one of those things, like nails on a chalkboard, that make me gag.

Like, I will indisputably feel a surge in the back of my throat. As in, I'm totally going to retch if I don't look away from you with that lipstick on your teeth!

My dilemma? I cannot bring myself to tell her! Me! The most straight forward individual to parade this Earth! I'd much rather go out of my way to avoid talking to her. I'm all "Good Morning!" from across the building. Just. To. Avoid. It. I am perplexed. Evidently, this is the one thing that keeps my trap shut.

Wait a minute! She's totally doing this on purpose, isn't she? This is quite possibly her way to avoid me! That bitch... I'm being bushwhacked!

It's a fucking conspiracy I tell you! I will not go down without a fight!

To be motherfucking continued....